I’m coaching my eight-year-old daughter’s soccer team. You might be thinking, “What a kind thing to do,” but let me stop you right there: I am coaching because I am an absolute control freak who loves to be in charge. There is no generosity here; this is 100% Kristy from the Babysitters Club energy.
Because we live in Seattle, a place that loves darkness, our team name is the Crows. I have the girls yell “CAW CAW!” as they take the field, their arms waving like wings, friendship bracelets flapping in the wind. At the end of each game, I award a player Crow of the Game. At the first game, the parents watching from the sidelines thought I was handing out a dead bird. (To be clear, they are stuffed, never-been-alive Crows that look very much like dead birds. The girls love them.)
Let me be clear, do I know a lot about soccer? No ma’am. (I played one year as a child, but cannot remember it through the haze of Capri Suns and childhood trauma). Do I know a lot about other sports? No, the sport I know the most about is soccer, and that is, as I said, nothing. But what I lack in skills I make up for in enthusiasm and ability to shout out a child’s name and specific athletic compliment. Is this coaching? No. We have won some games, though? Yes.
I decided to coach because I know what’s on the horizon for my daughter. Soon her body will be a container for more than just handstands and goalie kicks, and I want her to know the joy of these movements before she settles into the joy of the right lipstick and outfit for a Friday night. I want the girls on my teams to be given nicknames about how powerful they are vs how beautiful they are. Current Crow nicknames include: the Brick Wall, Sparky and Killer. (Killer is the quietest kid on the team, and adores her nickname.)
Honestly, the thing I’m a control freak about is what society is teaching my daughter about how to be a woman. I want to hold onto my influence with her a little longer, just like she and Killer asked to hold onto my hands as we ran our final laps at last night’s practice. As I stormed the field with 10 girls as the sun went down, CAW CAWing loudly, I thought maybe this is actually what winning looks like.
THIS MADE ME LAUGH/GET A TOWEL
Is there anything better than news bloopers? Is there anything better than news bloopers that include water??? No. No, there is not. I swear to you, I could be ready to burn my whole life down, and someone shows me a news blooper and I’m healed. I am livelovelaughing my way back to my old life to show everyone the video, like nothing happened at all (other than this poor woman falling in! Bless!). Do you have a favorite news blooper video? I want to see.
Also, if you are feeling generous/ like Kristy from BSC, would you mind sharing A Little Laugh? A easy way is to restack with a note (see down by comments) to put in your feed so that others can find it or just click the button below Thank you! Caw caw!
You’re the Crow of the Week,
xx
Kathleen