OK charts + mohawk dog

The three parenting moves that are saving my life (and my kids' literal lives) this summer, and everything on the internet that made me laugh last week.

Summer is kicking my butt, and honestly, there's not much new to say about it. How many times/ways can I write "motherhood is not sustainable in this country?" THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.

However, what I can do is share three parenting tools that are helping me as I lose my ever loving mind. Will these help you? Probably not! Children are impossible! And mine are elementary and maybe yours are toddlers! But maybe you want to try someone else's desperate attempt for control rather than yours? Or maybe you have a non-child you'd like to try one of these tips on? They work for all ages, ask me how I know.

1- OK CHART

Do you have a child that loves to say no? Or resist? Perhaps some PDA? Some ADHD? WELCOME. Let me introduce you to an OK chart. Ask your kiddo what they want (toy, game, a new baby sibling, whatever it takes!), then have them draw 30 or so circles on a piece of paper with OK written at the top. They tape it on their door, and every time they answer IMMEDIATELY and CHEERFULLY with an 'Ok!" to a request, they get a check mark.

Kathleen, I hear you thinking, are we really valuing compliance above all? Do we want our children to just bark "ok!" when asked by a person in power to do something? And I hear this. I do. And I want you to know that I hear you but also I NEED FEWER CONVERSATIONS. The OK Chart immediately solves this, and has been a summer go to for us for the last 5 years.

one of Bea’s first OK charts. make them draw the circles! they are in charge!

2– Reality TV as social coaching

As someone who spent all of the pandemic playing "What's on my Butt?" (the game where you lie down and pretend to not sleep as your kids place random objects on your bum and you guess what they are), I love a good horizontal parenting moment. Let me introduce you to SURVIVOR as parenting. Over the last few years, my kids and I have moved through five seasons of Survivor. The secret here, as shared by Lisa Damour, teen parenting expert, is to GOSSIP about the people on the show with your kids. How often do you let your kids talk shit about adults? Hearing my kids describe someone as "creepy" and then being able to talk about what behaviors they are seeing? I AM A PARENTING GOD. And I am lying on my couch. We talk about friendship, betrayal, power, and a lot about misogyny! While laughing! They are conversations I want to have with my kids, important ones, and I love that we have them in these casual ways, often with sour patch kids.

Other shows that work well for this: The Amazing Race and The Traitors (really! We watch and then the kids send a "podcast" aka voice note to my friends Rebecca and Gabe who also watch religiously, again GOSSIPING).

3- Same day free Costco delivery

If you don't know that Costco has free same day delivery, welcome. I spent $50 on 4 pizzas and 72 popsicles last week and fed 60 kids. If your summer looks like mine, you might need Costco to appear on your doorstep. Also, the kale grain salad is so good and especially if you throw some sweet potato fries on top! .

THESE MADE ME LAUGH

Look, we've all had haircuts we may have regretted that we aren't quite sure we can pull off. Hank gets it. Hank is a friend of my sister's and we love him (When I shared this on IG and I accused of animal cruelty! I promise Hank is WELL LOVED).

who among us hasn’t regretted a summer haircut?

A woman was sent an unsolicited photograph of a mans business, and then she TOOK CARE of business.

TIK TOK: I love old men babies / hell yes evil walks / wow its like looking in a mirror / this is sublime

IG: give her a gold medal / ten! siblings!

PODCAST: I am obsessed with the podcast HANDSOME, hosted by three of the funniest people in comedy, who all happen queer ladies/they-dies (Tig Notaro, Fortune Feimster, and Mae Martin). It's personal and light and really special. I recommend it if you want more laughs.

I hope you've got a good book and a good gossipy TV show and maybe even some fries on your salad. Happy summer—we are going to make it, y'all.

xo,

Kathleen

PS- Reminder for all paid subscribers: we are gathering on the chat on JULY 27th at 4:30pm PT/7:30ET to talk SUMMER BOOKS. I just finished the new Kevin Wilson (I loved it so so much, it reminds me of the show Somebody Somewhere, if you enjoyed that). Can't wait to hear what books you've been getting into.

PPS- Liking/hearting this post or leaving a comment really feeds the algorithm gods, and helps me a ton. Thanks for all your support! xx