I’m so sick of cool people and more - this is slightly uncharitable - people who uses shyness or “introversion” as an excuse for gatekeepy cool meanness. Never has someone captured my brand of introversion as well as you have here. I get so drained by social interactions so they’d better be meaningful or fun and fast!
God Kathleen I love this and you. I think I am actually good at this thing too (and am also an introvert who loves people!!) but have never analyzed why and what it is that makes people open up to me this way, and it’s so cool (haha!! You’re cool anyway, sorry!) to see you bring thoughtfulness and intention to it all. I think it makes me a better teacher, doing this stuff, but receiving it as a friend is so precious and rare. 🥹❤️
I enjoyed this list and the different ways to do better at social stuff. When you get it right it feels great - but those awkward and fumbling silences with new people can be a shocker. I will share this fun article in my Sunday round up newsletter this week. Cheers.
Daisy, I rolled the phrase "warmth and good cheer" around my head for hours last night, absolely pleased to bits with that description of me. I hope that's how people feel!
I also think you have to be willing to get INTO your community. You cannot order everything from your car! You have to stand in line and get coffee! You have to go to your local bookstore 14 times and make the book shop owner like you instead of ordering that shit on Amazon because it’s easier! You have to track down the weird fabric store and the coasters in the locally owned gift shop and go to your kids plays and volunteer with other nutbars who might want to be your friend and buy things on Facebook marketplace from maybe a slightly weird part of town that meant being brave and now you are friends with four people you met on Facebook marketplace because you were brave! You can’t do this from behind your phone and you can’t order it on wayfair dot com, believe me I tried.
Have you heard the wisdom (yes I did learn it from tiktok!): annoyance is the price of community, loneliness is the price of convenience. I think about it DAILY. To experience the joy of relationships, you also have to experience the annoyance of them.
Kathleen I never saw my dad without a mustache until I was like 16 which was also the very first time my mom saw my dad without a mustache, and everyone in my family was horrified!!! I honestly don’t know if he looked fine or not because he looked wrong!!! I sympathize with these babies.
I’m so sick of cool people and more - this is slightly uncharitable - people who uses shyness or “introversion” as an excuse for gatekeepy cool meanness. Never has someone captured my brand of introversion as well as you have here. I get so drained by social interactions so they’d better be meaningful or fun and fast!
this is so true. you can be introverted and still kind! and fun! some might even say we are better at it
God Kathleen I love this and you. I think I am actually good at this thing too (and am also an introvert who loves people!!) but have never analyzed why and what it is that makes people open up to me this way, and it’s so cool (haha!! You’re cool anyway, sorry!) to see you bring thoughtfulness and intention to it all. I think it makes me a better teacher, doing this stuff, but receiving it as a friend is so precious and rare. 🥹❤️
yes to being a better teacher. I think kids in general are so rarely at the other side of this stuff and I LOVE THEM, and it 10000% makes them bloom.
I enjoyed this list and the different ways to do better at social stuff. When you get it right it feels great - but those awkward and fumbling silences with new people can be a shocker. I will share this fun article in my Sunday round up newsletter this week. Cheers.
I think you're exactly right- it feels like magic, but it's neat to think about what we can control to invite it to happen.
EVERYTHING has a cheat sheet!
thank god, I’m lazy
This list so soooo good
Thank you! ♥️♥️
Small talk is so boring! Yay for real talk! One interesting conversation over ten forgettable ones any day. Love these strategies, K!
thank you so much Beth!
So not cringe! These are genius. ❤️
I've only met you online but I feel like I've already experienced your warmth and good cheer!
Daisy, I rolled the phrase "warmth and good cheer" around my head for hours last night, absolely pleased to bits with that description of me. I hope that's how people feel!
while we're giving compliments (my fav), Daisy I think you are one of the funniest living american novelists. I SAID IT!!!
Whenever I think about the reason to lift weights I think about that meme that says “I want to be able to throw up four plates like Ms Frizzle”
i'm add this to my goals list stat, thank you
I also think you have to be willing to get INTO your community. You cannot order everything from your car! You have to stand in line and get coffee! You have to go to your local bookstore 14 times and make the book shop owner like you instead of ordering that shit on Amazon because it’s easier! You have to track down the weird fabric store and the coasters in the locally owned gift shop and go to your kids plays and volunteer with other nutbars who might want to be your friend and buy things on Facebook marketplace from maybe a slightly weird part of town that meant being brave and now you are friends with four people you met on Facebook marketplace because you were brave! You can’t do this from behind your phone and you can’t order it on wayfair dot com, believe me I tried.
Have you heard the wisdom (yes I did learn it from tiktok!): annoyance is the price of community, loneliness is the price of convenience. I think about it DAILY. To experience the joy of relationships, you also have to experience the annoyance of them.
Yes I saw you comment it on AHP and I loved it so much I wrote it down!!! On my advice door!!!!
TIK TOK GETS IT!!!
Kathleen I never saw my dad without a mustache until I was like 16 which was also the very first time my mom saw my dad without a mustache, and everyone in my family was horrified!!! I honestly don’t know if he looked fine or not because he looked wrong!!! I sympathize with these babies.