I have always been the kind of idiot who immediately executes on ideas. I had the thought, "I wonder what would happen if I popped this bed?" and then just... did it.
Truly what were we thinking. My parents had one and it popped and ruined the carpet. Who thought putting a pool in plastic in bedrooms was a good idea??
Not me, but this reminded me of a conversation I overheard between my oldest children the other day. They were bickering about something while getting ready for school, and my oldest told my middle he was going to smack him. Middle: “You can’t do that. It would be child abuse. Now if I hit you, it would be considered animal abuse.” And then, as the good mother I am, I cackled in the other room. Ah, teenagers.
My brother saw me crying in the hallway at school (over some dumb boy, likely) and asked me what was wrong. I popped him in the nose and broke it. He couldn’t breathe out of it until he lost control of a wrench and rebroke it 15 years later.
I was five or so when my much older siblings had a raging house party. My parents were always away regretting not using birth control so were left to wreak havoc on our house and each other. All I can divulge is that a large amount of drugs were being consumed by the "big kids" at the party and one of the doped up attendees locked me out. For the next hour I sat on my front porch and continually would knock on the window for them to let me in. While my siblings didn't do it, they were accomplices by proxy and I never let them forget it! (But they really are the best)
okay THIS IS THE BEST. I applaud everyone's behavior in this story, (including your parents!!!) but most especially five year old YOU, who was clearly the chillest 5 year old in existence, and I imagine has only gotten more chill. I love it, and I bet your siblings also think YOU are the best.
I am the oldest of four and I was absolutely savage. I made my siblings give me massages, promising one in return but never doing it. My sister ripped of the head of my new jasmine barbie and I was so mad I ripped the head off of HER jasmine Barbie and then we had two headless jasmines and one alladin. 🌶️
That waterbed story delivered, I laughed out loud 😁
Loved your Romper piece as well. There’s definitely more freedom now—because we’re not all trapped in the same space 24/7, because our kids are older and need us in different ways than before, and because we have other families who can do community with / be extra hands for us. Thank God for all of it.
AND, having older kids is hard and hysterical in a different direction. Living with a teenager is like having someone regularly verbalize the meanest things you’ve ever thought about yourself, plus some others you hadn’t even thought to be insecure about… and then, immediately after saying something savage, ask you to help them make their lunch or, like, keep them company while they get ready for bed. Truly wild 😅
“Thank god for all of it”— that is it, exactly. That should be the alternate headline. Re; tweens: Have you heard it called the “fuck you, tuck me in” stage? lol. Seems right.
When my youngest brother was about 12 and i was about 19, the other two (younger than me, older than him) siblings and I preyed upon his hypochondria to make him think he might have cancer and end up like bob with bitch tits from fight club. I don’t remember all the details but he believed he felt a lump in a pectoral and we’re all ran with it very hard. I am now 45 and he 38 and he still does not fully trust me to this day.
Cue your slightly older, much more cautious sister nope-ing out of the room when you popped that bed.
always, ALWAYS had more sense than me
For real, what WERE we thinking as a society with these waterbeds?!
they feel like something that the humans in wall-e would have slept on?????
Truly what were we thinking. My parents had one and it popped and ruined the carpet. Who thought putting a pool in plastic in bedrooms was a good idea??
hhahahhah of COURSE it did!
Not me, but this reminded me of a conversation I overheard between my oldest children the other day. They were bickering about something while getting ready for school, and my oldest told my middle he was going to smack him. Middle: “You can’t do that. It would be child abuse. Now if I hit you, it would be considered animal abuse.” And then, as the good mother I am, I cackled in the other room. Ah, teenagers.
okay this is HYSTERICAL
My brother saw me crying in the hallway at school (over some dumb boy, likely) and asked me what was wrong. I popped him in the nose and broke it. He couldn’t breathe out of it until he lost control of a wrench and rebroke it 15 years later.
TESSA. TESSA. this is the bes.—- Not breaking his nose when he was checking on you!!
also ps this is so extremely helpful for me to hear as the parent of my specific children!!!!
I was five or so when my much older siblings had a raging house party. My parents were always away regretting not using birth control so were left to wreak havoc on our house and each other. All I can divulge is that a large amount of drugs were being consumed by the "big kids" at the party and one of the doped up attendees locked me out. For the next hour I sat on my front porch and continually would knock on the window for them to let me in. While my siblings didn't do it, they were accomplices by proxy and I never let them forget it! (But they really are the best)
okay THIS IS THE BEST. I applaud everyone's behavior in this story, (including your parents!!!) but most especially five year old YOU, who was clearly the chillest 5 year old in existence, and I imagine has only gotten more chill. I love it, and I bet your siblings also think YOU are the best.
I am the oldest of four and I was absolutely savage. I made my siblings give me massages, promising one in return but never doing it. My sister ripped of the head of my new jasmine barbie and I was so mad I ripped the head off of HER jasmine Barbie and then we had two headless jasmines and one alladin. 🌶️
Brenna, I love you. Two headless jasmins and one Aladdin. ☠️☠️😂😂
That waterbed story delivered, I laughed out loud 😁
Loved your Romper piece as well. There’s definitely more freedom now—because we’re not all trapped in the same space 24/7, because our kids are older and need us in different ways than before, and because we have other families who can do community with / be extra hands for us. Thank God for all of it.
AND, having older kids is hard and hysterical in a different direction. Living with a teenager is like having someone regularly verbalize the meanest things you’ve ever thought about yourself, plus some others you hadn’t even thought to be insecure about… and then, immediately after saying something savage, ask you to help them make their lunch or, like, keep them company while they get ready for bed. Truly wild 😅
“Thank god for all of it”— that is it, exactly. That should be the alternate headline. Re; tweens: Have you heard it called the “fuck you, tuck me in” stage? lol. Seems right.
Yes, that definitely seems right!
When my youngest brother was about 12 and i was about 19, the other two (younger than me, older than him) siblings and I preyed upon his hypochondria to make him think he might have cancer and end up like bob with bitch tits from fight club. I don’t remember all the details but he believed he felt a lump in a pectoral and we’re all ran with it very hard. I am now 45 and he 38 and he still does not fully trust me to this day.
OH MY GAH ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️
My little brother lay push pins on the bottom stair so I would step on them - and I did. I can't remember what I did to retaliate.
Janet, I hope it was SO GOOD. I hope there was tar involved.
That family photo!! ♥️
isn't it PERFECT. the outfits, the expressions. also deb and rick were so chic!!